I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I cut my penus on the lid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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