Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
