So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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