I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
