shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
