I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
