2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
