I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
they're like a gay fantastic four
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
