matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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