If i come over, it means nothing
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
