I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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