OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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