I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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