His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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