I met the friendliest cop last night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
