Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
