I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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