been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
