Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
