I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize