he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
