Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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