nut hugger
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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