Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sext me about skeletons
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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