ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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