dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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