thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
