if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
