Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
