Me too!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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