you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
