Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
