Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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