There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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