worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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