i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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