Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
