I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
