woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
