is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
