Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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