He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
