I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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