Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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