I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
