He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
