Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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