tell your sister to shave her snatch
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
