brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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