Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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