Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
