I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
