i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
