careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
