Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
