I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i think my cat just said my name.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
