we have officially lost it.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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