I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
