Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I pour the whiskey from now on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize