Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
