I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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