she was so not down for the gang bang
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
